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ALL I NEED IS TIME  

 

 

As I was passing by the home

The local senior citizens home

I couldnít help but overhear

The plaintive song of one old dear

The bathroom window, just a crack

Was open as she dried her back

And as an aide-memoir she sang

This touching little verse

First I dry the bingo wings

Then thereís lots of other things

Which have travelled southwards since

I was in my prime

My mind is clear but its perverse

The bodywork is getting worse

I donít need to see the nurse

All I need is time

 

Moved by this lament I tried

To push the window open wide

And once Iíd got my head inside

Could offer counsel true

I know you donít know where Iím from

But I am not a Peeping Tom,

I said, Iím here to offer

Words of comfort now to you

 

At first she gave a little start,

Wrapped a towel around her heart,

Seemed hot and flushed though I could see

Her buttocks turning blue

I told her, age is just a number

Get out soon and learn the Rumba

Or go and grow cucumbers as a volunteer at Kew

 

Alas though, I was fated

To be unappreciated

My efforts to console her

Were not received too well

The matron called the Law and then

A car drew up with burly men

Who took me to the local nick

And threw me in this cell

On Monday morning, 10 oíclock

Iíll be standing in the dock

To try and tell the magistrates

That I did nothing wrong

Theyíll soften when they hear my tale

Iíll make my plea Ė but should it fail,

Iíll recount verbatim

That poor old ladyís song

 

First I dry the bingo wings

Then thereís lots of other things

Which have travelled southwards since

I was in my prime

My mind is clear but itís perverse

The bodywork is getting worse

I donít need to see the nurse

All I need is time

                                          Copyright 2001-2011 Joseph Kilhane: All rights reserved